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I am a lone wolf

I’m a bit of a lone wolf, I think. Maybe that’s why I love trail running so much. It gives me the time to be on my own. Just me, my thoughts, a podcast. Nobody else. defines a lone wolf as: A person who’s solitary and often alone, but she isn’t necessarily lonely, since she prefers her solitude to socializing with others. I think that’s a perfect description of me. I’m not lonely, I just like to be on my own. 


I just finished reading What I talk about when I talk about running by Murakami. I felt a connection. He was lone wolf as well: ‘I’m the kind of person who likes to be by himself. … I find spending an hour or two every day running alone, not speaking to anyone, as well as four or five hours alone at my desk, to be neither difficult nor boring.’

I recognize that feeling. Going for a run is my alone time. That’s why I have a love-hate relationship with trail run races. Mostly they are too busy for me. Too much talking going on. I told you I struggled with a few runners behind me in the Alfa Bear Trail, because they were continuously talking about nothing. I don’t mind a word or two, but for the rest I run to enjoy nature. 

At the same time, a lot of these races are in beautiful areas. Areas where you can’t always run when there isn’t a race. They also form a good excuse for Sara and me to be away for the day. Run, visit some friends, eat out, meet other runners. So they definitely serve a purpose in my life. But to say, I run for these races, no. 


As a journalist I always worked on my own as well. At the beginning of the day we would have a meeting at the newspaper, everybody would know what to do, and for the rest of the day, it was just me, making my story. 

In the last couple of years Sara and I worked together on La Scimmia Yoga. We have one long meeting once a week. For the rest, we just sit down in between, when needed. But she has her work, I’ve got mine. We’re together in the office, but for a big part still on our own. It’s how I work best. 

I think for a big part it has to do with me getting overstimulated very easily. Too many people is too many incentives to deal with. It wears me out. Maybe that’s also the reason I missed running so much in the last couple of years. It’s an escape from all these stimuli. It’s a moment of silence, a moment to breathe. It’s the moment that keeps me sane. 

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